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17011991. Malaysian.

I'm not the one to be mess with. If you are nice and friendly to me, i'll be extra-extra nice to you. (: But if you are mean to me, i will be extra mean to you. In fact, i will make you happier than me. :D I'm simple, easy going BUT still fashionable and shy :)

FAIZUL SHAHRIN ♥ FAZARUL AZRIN ♥ AMIRAH HUSNA ♥ JOHAN AMINI (hearts)

-That's me
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You set my soul at ease

Chased darkness out of view

Left your desperate spell on me

Say you feel it too..

I know you do...

I've got so much more to give

This can't die, I yearn to live.

Pour yourself all over me..

And I'll cherish every drop here on my knees..

I wanna love you forever.

And this is all I'm asking of you

10,000 lifetimes together,

Is that so much for you to do?

Cause from the moment that I saw your face,

And felt the fire in your sweet embrace,

I swear I knew.

I'm gonna love you forever...

My mind fails to understand what my heart tells me to do..

And I'd give up all I have just to be with you.

and that would do..

I've always been taught to win

And I never thought I'd fall..

Be at the mercy of a man,

I've never been.

Now I only want to be right where you are.

In my life I've learned that heaven never waits. no...

Lets take this now before it's gone like yesterday.

Cause when I'm with you there's nowhere else that I would ever wanna be

I'm breathing for the next second.

I can feel you

Loving me...

I'm gonna love you forever...

P/S : Honestly, I feel like I'm dreaming of you lastnite, lovely guy.. but I'm unsure bout this :S I really cant remember it. But I can see you vaguely everytime I blink my eyes after I wake up :( that's what happen everytime I dream of you. so which one I have to trust? heart or mind? heart telling me that is you who's talking while walking to me in that dream.. like always. but mind telling me otherwise :S is it true heart is always right eventho it's on the left? :( IMissYou. That's all. whether it's a dream or not, I still miss you. Now and forever.  Btw, today is 400th day after I met you in my heart ;) Thanks man.. you gimme something precious that no one else couldn't give.. ♥

Dengarkan jeritan batinku 

Memekik-mekik, memanggil-manggil namamu selalu.. 

Sehari kurasa sebulan 

Hatiku tiada tertahan 

Ku pandang kiri Ku pandang kanan 

Dikau tiada… 

Risau.... 

Batinku menangis risau!

Makin kau jauh, 

Makin hatiku bertambah kacau 

Mengapa kita berpisah? 

Tak sanggup menahan asmara.. 

Oh Dengarlah jeritan batinku..

Ke arah satu perjalanan dalam sebuah kehidupan

Demi untuk mengecapi hasrat murni di dalam hati

Usaha dengan doa

Masanya akan tiba

Dengan restu Illahi

Kelak pasti akan ditemui.

Suluhkan cahaya di hati terang, Allah..

Tunjukkan jalan seandainya hilang, Allah..

Tegakkan perjalanan yang bakal ditempuh

Tegakkan semangat bila runtuh

Setibanya di sisiMu ku berserah

Terimalahku hambaMu Allah.

Sekiranya takdir menguji

Cekalkanlah hasrat di hati

Semoga kesusahan bisa mengajar erti terus asa.

 Usaha dengan doa

Masanya akan tiba

Dengan restu Illahi

Kelak pasti akan ditemui.

It's a FRIDAY... Jumaatun Mubarakah (sorry if I did mistake). And today's 17 Feb :) it's a day, 13 month ago... where I met you for the first time :') and today... we meet again for the first time in 2012 :D the times that I awaited for a very long time! And today, I guess the most beautiful memories I ever had (with you) ♥

The story started with me, rushing down to the stadium cause we had a premiere assembly with MB :) reaching there, I see nobody in the food distribution's booth -.- I cannot see CC even abang wan.. only after that, I saw Kak Jun and Kak Ana. Sit for awhile with them at the staff registration's booth. re-read text from abang wan, I guess its better I'm starting work at my booth :D lantak pi laa dia nak datang awal ke.. lewat ke.. hehe the place's getting crowded. and my booth betul-betul laku! heheh sampai tak menang tangan melayan!! Abang ngah coming with kak ipar to take the food :D both are blue. hehee me too! :P k. I forgot to register my name -.- I wish they will take note bout me :S I'm lucky ada CC helping me edar the makanan beside kak faiz. hehehe TQ :) after that move on to the table number 3. we got 4 table for the food actually, but yang laku just in table 1 & 2 hehehe Suddenly Mr Syahrir came :) ooo ni mamat yang selalu 'lari' kursus tu eh? :P nak kena ni.. naseb he smile at me, tersegan jap :P hahaha but he just tegur CC.. and keep kacau-ing others at the table no 2 -.- terok betul 'cik abang' ni :P patut laa makcik dalima suka dia sangat.. memang ter-over mesra pun.. hehehe secretly, I wish I can meet HIM at this booth :( then kan, I saw abang nuar in the middle of crowd. hehee this one cannot hide laaa... saper suroh TINGGI sangat? ;P

A few minutes after that, I ask abang wan for a toilet and tell him that I wanna go to the toilet for awhile. At the toilet, I met kak Ina :) she ask me to join her jadi... err.. what its name eh? aaa-sherr? hmm.. it sounds like that, but I dont know how to spell -.- I agree. hehehe dont know why my heart gimme a clue. but... I dont know what it is.. so, I met kak ipar there :D she has been an esher since a few years ago ;) err.. betul ke spelling tu? :S hehe we're talking and talking sambil me, jeling cari-ing him :P eh ehhh... HE's standing a few step away in front of me! :D awwhh he looks charm in with that red tie (♥_♥) but honestly, I'm proud to be more steady eventho my heart beating superfast! dulu, gelabah! even maybe sikeeet je, but cannot control self tau? hehehe now I learn to be moreee steady and calm on the outside. haha HE's talking with Puan Kas and Cik Sal, and... after a few moment I jeling-ing him.. suddenly HE turn to my direction :O gilerr! I wish he's not looking at me :P perasan eh? ehek. or I dont know why he turn until I heard Puan Akma giving an order with a bit louder voice. I guess he thought Puan talk whether with HIM or other person. hehe maybe, dia ter-realize I was there? :P heeee so, a few times after that, I can saw he keep jeling-ing here :O jangan buat I lemah semangat :P comel ke perr now? dulu I rasa macam I yang a bit gelabah till suker pusing-pusing so that I see him thru my ekor mata, now why I feel like he did the same thing? Cheyhh.. perasan! :P an owh, I saw my comel boss, En Zul... heheh comel perr? love to see his smiling ;) hehehe then he accidently saw me and smile :) aww shy shy kitty cat like always (english aku entah apa-apa eh? -.-) and sometimes I feel weird with his shy-ness everytime face me -.-" I met daddy.. and we're wearing sedondon! ehek. I loikeee :D

then, MB arrives... after check our enforcement nyer perbarisan, MB enter the room where they are having jamuan makan. Me, follow kak ipar enter the hall to awaits MB at the red carpet near the stage :) while walking, I keep searching HIM. I just saw En Zul masa di entrance, but where is..... hmmm :( in my thought, I guess HE was in the room, layan-ing MB? so I just when on the red carpet, masuk ke dalam, I keep looking to the HI (Health Inspector) who also make a queue, awaits for MB along the red carpet. ops! I almost jatuh! :O my kaki sakit :S standing too long with the high heels, my feet is painful :'( luckily I walk very near to the wall, heh so sempat sandarkan badan ke dinding before jatuh, hasilnya? tak jadi jatuh :P hehehe but.. I didnt know a few step in front is where he stand! O.o naseb I walk behind kakak! so I wish he cannot see me almost jatuh eh? ;P but then when suddenly terpanah ke mata dia, why it looks like... err.. I dont know you kelip-kelip mata or.... you kenyit mata? :O whatever it is.. it still made my day eventho during my writing now, I still confuse between both 'kenyit-kelip' tu.. hehehe and then, after 'mata moment' you smile. And thats the precious smile that I really miss! :') the moment your eyes met mine, I feel like something is click. like a key turn in the lock. I feel like the whole world is stop for a minute. Nobody ever made me feel in that way before :') and.... there's something in your smile.. something in your eyes that really make me melt inside. ILOVETHEMOMENT ♥

I continue walking to stand in front of  kak Ina. Standing behind kak parameswari who's standing behind kak ipar. and kak ipar stand beside him -.- heh nak juga pleaseee? :P takper.. I still behind him whaaat? :P just two people between us, tak juah pun ;P hehehe but he always look calm eh? how can I know what's in your heart? nampaknya, it just your eyes can tell me everything :( I saw he turn back and talk with Cik Sal. I dont know, but I guess maybe it just my feeling. but I can feel he's jeling-ing me -.- I still cant capture his permianan mata -..- but but.. wait! he's not looks calm like always.. I can see him a bit gelabah.. dah tak macam dudlu.. why lah? I saw a few times dia telan air liur.. and.. adalah lagi babak-babak, cannot tell here lah :p impossible dia gelabah because of the MB, Tun Mahathir pun he still can make that 'calm face' even I can tangkap that beats in his heart when Tun is in front of him? But this time, it just.. too.. obvious.. something inside him yang buat dia jadi macam tu! >_< but still, you looks supercute with that face!! ehehek

then abang syed come and ask him the empty seats is for whom? abang syed said, he cant leave the seat empty like that. So he walk passing by me to that place, on the right of the stadium. I dont know. maybe he want to arrange it again. I guess banyak staff lari. Lastyear, tak kosong like this :( and me pulak? Asyik laughing with kak ina -.- sometimes I rasa macam I tunjuk sisi 'tak betul' in front of him, sedang I bukan manusia yang suka ketawa gitu :( but I do confess, everytime nervous, I memang cant control myself from being hyper-go-lucky girl :D eheheheh talk talk talk and laugh! -.- itu if nervous. I guess that's why everytime he's in front of me, I feel like.. I'm showing him something bad to watch. eheh kata nervous.. kaaan? :P but I dont think he like this type of girl. eventho I ketawa tak kuat sangat. still tutup mulut when laughing cuma... entahlah, for me I still rasa macam kasar sikit my character. hmmm... k. when walking back to the place he stand tadi, why you walk so near to me? And this time, no more confusion k? I can see you smile while walk passing by me -.- yang pasti, randomly I nampak you smile like that? shy shy kitty cat gitu kan? and Ilovethewayyoudid ♥

after a few minutes, MB enter the hall. We go to our own seats. My job is done. Now just waiting for MB to giving out his speech. the place I sat at that time really clear for him to see me :P cheyh! macam nak dia tengok aku! hehehe but I do realize, at some moment, his eyes staring towards my seat area but I cannot see his eyes staring at whom... :( but my heart telling me bout... k. I just dont want to believe it :S heheh I pun steal a glance to him perr? and that's why sometimes our view clash! hehehe orang tengok MB, aku tengok dier.. bagos ke perr? :P during MB's speech, I saw him walking to my side and stand behind the screen -.- why you so cute brother? :P ehek so cute to see his leg under the screen.. ni budak manyak cute ohhh :P teringat the moment zaman-zaman study dulu, I ni kan shy-shy orangnyer? :P so nak ngelak orang asyik look at me, I pun pegi hide belakang LCD screen, bairlah orang just nampak my leg, janji orang tak nampak my face :P hahaha nakal ohhh ;D then when the MB is almost finish, I saw him walking to the backstage. Until the submission of MS ISO 9001 certificate is done, he go up to the stage, bawa dulang -.- whuaaaat? :O dia bawa dulang?! oi cik abang, dah takder orang bawah ke sampai you as an officer pula jadi pembawa dulang? saper punyer keje ni? :S that is not your level! artis budaya ada for helping you.. staff PCB ada... staff pentadbiran ada... why didnt you ask for their help? :( maybe this thing isnt a big problem, but as someone yang utamakan protokol, I just feel angry to see this. I just sangat tegas when it comes to protocol.. sangat.. tegas... sorry takder niat marah pun.. :(

when the majlis is finish... I'm walking a bit slowly to search for him. but I cant see :S then I go to the main entrance and saw ayah with dato SU :) ayah gonna eat with other VIPs while me, stand beside the fountains in the hall awaits akak -.- suddenly I turn back to door I enter tadi, and I see him enter the hall back :( halaaah.. baru nak tengok :S and guess what? when MB finish his speech tadi, I saw Cik Sal talking to him :S halaah... jealous ke? I feel sakit with this jealous know? But i'm a human... a normal person.. i'm imperfect... and I is currently loving someone.. that feeling would be there to test me. but I hope. just hope. I hope it's not worst. yeah, actually its not worst. just a lil jealousy. no problemos with that. nobody knows. just me, myself and I... not even YOU, Mr. F :') I'm not the one who will 'cemburu buta' like that.. I'm open.. and I'm the one who will not reveal my feeling to others no matter what :)

Ku persembah cinta suciku buat insan yang ku sayangi..

Ku ukirkan dalam hatimu jawapan cinta kepadamu

Hanya kau mengerti..

Selamilah kasih, sucinya cintaku

Tulusnya cintaku hanya kepadamu

Mampukah kau mengerti perasaanku kepadamu?

Dan tulus kasih hanyalah untukmu...

Mampukah kau selami jauh ke dasar hati ini?

Hanya namamu yang tersembunyi...

Ku harapkan kau mengerti cintaku seadanya, kasih...

Ku inginkan kebahagiaan bersamamu selamanya tanpa rasa curiga...

For my 21th Birthday, I just wanna say thanks a lot to Allah SWT for giving me such a wonderful life to live :') He give me the real strenght, He show me the clear way to walk thru and, He show me who's my true love :') He make me falls till at one point, I feel like I'm breathless.. but then, he show me how to get up and make a new life. I'm lost in my way to the top but then, He give me the light and show me how to get there with faith and confidence. I thought I would never found someone better than 'the guy', I thought I'll not get over him, but now, God show me, someone else is better for me.. someone else is true-er than him :')

Thanks God, You give me such a great lessons to learn. I learn a lot, yeah.. I learn a lot from what You'd give me. Thanks for everything.. thanks for all your love to me, God Thanks you so much :') May this year be sweeter for me.

Tahukah kamu apa yang ku pinta dalam setiap doa sepanjang hariku?
" Tuhan, tolong aku, tolong jaga dia...
Tuhan, aku sayang dia.. "

Aku tak akan berhenti menemani dan menyayangimu,
Hingga matahari tak terbit lagi..
Bahkan bila aku mati,
Ku kan berdoa pada ilahi unuk satukan kami di syurga nanti...

Tuhan tolong lembutkan hati dia untuk terima ku seadanya.. 

Kerana aku tak sanggup, 

Kerana aku tak mampu hidup tanpa dia di sisi ku..

Tuhan aku tahu banyak dosa ku,
Hanya ingat Kamu kala duka ku,
Namun hanya Kamu yang mampu membuka pintu hatinya untuk cintaku..

Malam, kau bawalah rinduku untuk dirinya yang jauh dari ku..
Agar dia tidak kesepian, selalu rasa ada cinta agung..

Hujan, bawa air mata ku yang mengalir membasuh luka ku..
Agar dia tahu ku terseksa tanpa cinta dia di hatiku..

Hanya mampu terserah...
Moga cahaya di penanti...

All I ever wanted was to be part of your heart,

and for us to be together, to never be apart.

No one in the world can even compare,

You're perfect and so is this love that we share.

We have so much more than I ever thought we would,

I love you so much more than I ever thought I could.

I promise to give you all I have to give,

I'll do anything for you as long as I live.

In your eyes I see our present, our future and our past,

by the way you look at me I know that we will last.

I hope that someday you'll come to realize,

how perfect you are when seen through my eyes.